9 things the Giants Super Bowl victory guarantees
Man, those New England Patriots…did you see that undefeated regular season? Wow! 16-0. That’s pretty impressive. Oh, that’s right, no one cares! They just lost the Super Bowl, 17-14, off of a great performance by the Giants defense, a classic 4th quarter drive by Eli Manning, and a very nicely run sluggo route run by Plaxico Burress for the game winning TD.
Did anyone outside of the New England States want the Patriots to win this game? No. And now, the prayers of a nation are answered. America hasn’t shown a unified front like this except for in special circumstances, like hatred of Carlos Mencia, sadness over the writers guild strike, and complete and unabashed jealousy over Tom Brady’s magical life…at least, until today.
Can we go over a couple of the things that this win represents?
1. Very popular players finally get a super Bowl Ring (i.e. Michael Strahan)
2. Eli Manning got the monkey off his back. (SUPER BOWL MVP!) 
3. Don Shula is throwing the biggest Super Bowl party in the history of America.
4. All the prognosticators who were on the Patriots bandwagon were proven to be nothing more than bandwagon jumpers (come on guys, you can’t all blindly pick the Patriots when they clearly had some holes on defense, and the Giants should have actually beat the Patriots the last time…when they both had something to play for).
5. I can watch TV again! I would have had to boycott ESPN for a few weeks until Chris Berman’s raging hard-on for Tom Brady died down.
6. Mercury Morris will be making up another horrible rap song (this isn’t good, but its still something that will happen)
7. All of talk about spygate will die down because it was all for naught (probably more on this later)
8. Sports Illustrated has sweat shop workers making Giants sweatshirts and packaging DVD’s faster than my mind can even comprehend.
9. Bill Belichick shows more classlessness (stay on the field till the game is over!)
I promise I will bring some actual writing later on…right now I’m just glad that the Giants won this game. I’m off to celebrate…and maybe watch some ESPN.
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I don’t think Belichick was classless in this case, but I think it would have definitely been classier to stay. He did give Coughlin a hug right away and all that. From all the stuff I’ve read so far it seems like lots of players didn’t even know the game wasn’t officially over. Oh well.
Oh, and unfortunately Berman will still have his pants stretchin’ over Brett Favre retirement talk.
I may have made a post last week about my pick being the Giants for the Super Bowl, but that was because I wasn’t buying the Patriots hype and couldn’t get over my infatuation with faith in the Giants, and also the fact that I believed the term “Dallas may be America’s Team, but the Giants are America’s Dream.”
I agree with #5, but as bad as it would have been for you to have to watch Chris Berman slobber all over Brady’s nuts on ESPN, it would have been 10 times worse for me in Boston. I couldn’t wait for the Super Bowl to be over, just because more than anything else, it would mean I’d never have to see another “PURSUIT OF PERFECTION” graphic on the local news again and the Patriots would no longer be interrupting my regularly scheduled programming (“Breaking news, this just in, Bill Belichick just switched his tampons from Maxi to StayFresh. We’ll have more on this at 11.”).
As for #7, Spygate looks like it’s gonna get worse now that Congress is stepping in. GOOD! Get at these fools, Arlen Specter! That’s why I would have voted for you if I had cared about politics 10 years ago!
The best thing about the Pats losing…
http://www.thepittsburghchannel.com/news/15224640/detail.html